Polyamory married and dating scripted

Polyamory:Married and Dating on Showtime | Lipstick Alley

polyamory married and dating scripted

Polyamory: Married & Dating is an American reality television series on the American pay television network Showtime. The series follows polyamorous families. One is with these two married couples living together as a big love nest. it's ment to be like a reality polyamory show, but it's scripted. Showtime's new reality series, Polyamory: Married and Dating is a far better portrayal of polyamory than I feared and not as good as I had hoped, judging from.

I am not one to wear an apron, but before we started shooting the show, many neighbors have seen me playing with my husband and son in our suburban yard and probably assumed we were the perfect Beaver Cleaver family. The truth is, the nuclear household has never fit the shape of my heart. Mainstream American is built on a social construct which places straight married couples and their offspring at the center of the family unit.

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In my opinion this cookie-cutter conspiracy is crumbling because it clearly lacks creativity. My heart is built more like a sprawling estate with many rooms for lots of lovers who come and go as they please. Living in apartments, condos, single family homes has always felt strange and proven terribly inefficient.

polyamory married and dating scripted

My live-in-lovers and I like to share resources; four adults only need only one washer machine, toaster, blender and the aforementioned cable TV. We also share domestic duties. Not everyone who does poly is married, and far fewer ever live with multiple lovers.

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My husband and I were very fulfilled for many years living alone. The show gave us the opportunity to share our transition into a life long dream of living in more sustainable community.

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Even though my son Devin only appeared in two episodes, motherhood is a huge part of my life. During pre-production, my director gave me the option of whether or not I wanted to expose my five year old to the potentially unwanted attention that would be brought on by being in an sexually explicit adult content show.

Polyamory:Married and Dating on Showtime

My producers were sensitive to a historic case where a poly mother lost custody of her child after appearing on MTV. I personally had a painful experience several years ago where Inside Edition interviewed my family and aired it along side a counter-point who warned the viewers that our lifestyle could be causing psychological damage to our son.

The more I considered it, the clearer I got that showing our family would prove a more powerful narrative for social change. Polyamory is not just a phase people go through before they have kids, but it is a sustainable alternative to the nuclear unit. Fortunately the overwhelming response has been an outpouring of supportive letters about our parenting choices, including thank you letters from people who were raised in poly families.

In general society is starting to see that the healthiest environment to raise children are ones in which the parents are happy and the children get plenty of adult attention, regardless of who they love. It is deeply gratifying to know how many people were touched or triggered enough to seek our contact info.

And the ripples of the show are still reaching international shores. In order to survive the tsunami of feedback, I had to remind myself that what people write and think says more about THEM than about me or my family. Seriously, the trick has been not to take any of it too seriously.

And yet, all feedback is valuable and potentially transformative because one of my greatest goals in doing the show has always been to further the conversation. There are many sincere inquiries for romantic advice which I try to address on my personal blog.

As for the hate mail, I never thought it would come to this, but I actually have a form letter. Ultimately, however, this half-hour show can only capture a mere snapshot of the complexity of our love lives with 13 minutes per family, per week.

polyamory married and dating scripted

Average people are hearing about Polyamory, and getting a sense of what it means You can imagine my relief when the show finally hit the air and people started talking, blogging and tweeting about it. Friends, family and even strangers feel entitled to express their advice on what I should do. I am forever bonded with my lovers Having cameras in our home and especially in our bedrooms became a powerful spiritual practice that allowed us to better observe the ego.

When a handful of lovers agree to join us in this conscious experiment, the result was alchemy that inextricably bonded everyone involved. Through the process we all learned to be better communicators, we broadened our perspectives and sometimes even saw our issues from outside ourselves.

I recommend everybody try this: It was a truly powerful practice to help dissolve insecurity, body issues and sex shame. By design, this show is late-night, adult-programing, so it might focus on us making out for a disproportionate percentage of our 13 minutes, but where else does the American public get to watch real people who love each other make love without guilt, or shame? I remember that several years ago, I made a pact with the universe: I promised to tell the truth, not just to the IRS or my lovers, but to anybody who was seeking it.

I have since been practicing total transparency.

polyamory married and dating scripted

I believe it was because of this commitment not to lie, withhold, or deceive anyone, that my director Natalia Garcia found us [and] consequently sold the project to BermanBraun and Showtime. It was hard to step off my soap box and work through my own jealousy, judgments and possessiveness on camera.