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But the hardest part is meeting someone. As a result, many have turned to online dating sites. In fact, a third of recently married couples met online. But online dating is different for men and women Online Dating: It's time for a frank discussion! What I learned from interviews was that online dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons. As the saying goes: Women are afraid men will kill them. But how do you know that guy you're chatting with is being honest and truthful?
As an experiment I set up accounts on three of the more popular free dating websites, then spoke to some women about their experiences. OkCupid When someone says online dating, one of the first sites that comes to mind is OkCupid.
It is estimated that there are about 30 million total users, with roughly 1 million unique users logging in every day. It goes without saying that OkCupid has one of the better reputations of more popular free dating websites for having a wide variety of quality users. In total, I received 11 messages with visitors. Mostly, they were just guys saying hi. A few were a little more forward, and two were straight-up aggressive. I joined February 4th, around 7 AM, and received a total of one vote, two winks, and six messages.
The messages were all nice, although one user messaged me three times. PlentyofFish PlentyofFish is perhaps the most popular online dating sites out there, with an estimated 6 million pageviews a month and 76 million users a little less than the entire population of Turkey. In total, I received 34 messages, all of which were very nice.
I never replied to any of the messages, however there were a few men who messaged me twice despite that, in an attempt to get a response. I spoke to a few friends about their experiences with online dating websites. Another simply sent me this screenshot. Others in the past have conducted similar experiments, setting up fake accounts on free dating websites and recording the messages they received.
He came away with the realization that women have it much, much harder on these sites: Russian girl will always accept admiration with grace and smile and will love that. And when you think how much Russian girls spend in order to look beautiful, you may come to a conclusion that even if she expects some gifts in her honor — that is justifiable. Good idea for a date with a Russian — to dress up a bit more than you would typically do for going out regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.
For a man — wearing a jacket, for a woman — make up and high heels if you feel comfortable wearing them are most appropriate. Typical outfit for a date in the US for a girl — skinny jeans, high heeled boots and a nice top, may be not enough in Russia.
You may feel a bit underdressed and will feel more in place if you wear a more feminine outfit. That does not mean — you have to wear mini, but wearing a dress or a skirt and a top will be more appreciated than wearing jeans.
In the US — there are plenty of rules, especially regarding appropriate topics for conversations at a first date, duration of the date and the progress what is allowed and considered appropriate at each stage of the relationship.
In Russia — there are much less rules, barely any rules. People act as they wish and are rather emotional than rational. But in general — people kiss if they feel like it and do whatever feels right at each particular moment. Champagne is the drink of choice for any romantic occasion in Russia, not just for weddings and anniversaries As for date behavior and conversations — expect the guys to act manly and the girls to act girly.
A guy will talk about his business or his job a lot and will find a way to demonstrate his wealth by mentioning his car, house and other evidences of status. A guy will also talk a lot about his manly hobbies — hunting, shooting, fishing, doing manly sports, jumping with a parachute, DIY projects etc.
Also, guy is expected to be a good storyteller and to make a girl laugh. I was really surprised that guys in the US often brag about their great cooking skills to their dates.
To me that was so bizarre that I asked one of my American friends, why these guys do that? You will never hear a Russian guy, bragging about how he can cook a herb-crusted salmon or bake macaroons! And my friend said that otherwise you will not get a girlfriend, that cooking skills are now among expected skills for men. How cool is that!!!
Dating in Russia - Understand Russia
I frequently amuse my Russian girlfriends with that story! In the US people usually avoid talking about politics, religion and problems on a first date.
In Russia all that is considered quite normal. Girls may tell about some minor disasters, which show them as vulnerable — how she got lost somewhere or her heel broke or she had a flat tire and did not know how to change it. Girls will often downplay their intellect, education and professional status. She may have a PhD in nuclear physics but she will chat you up about baking pies or embroidery, especially if she is unsure whether you are an equal intellectually.
She may also speak about problems in her family or about her past disasters in love life that openness always surprises foreigners.MUST WATCH 😳😱😱🤬MY POF DISASTER men are the catfishers Dating sites. Story time
Love is… cartoons inside chewing gum were collectable items in the 90s Man can also tell about that — how unfair love life has been for him so far. Or can even tell about problems at work or tell a story from his childhood, how he was bullied in school. You see a contradiction there — how the same man can act manly and portrait himself as a winner and whine about something?
There is no contradiction here — that is building connection on an emotional level. In former times, in ancient Russia to love and to pity were synonyms. That mentality is still strong — if a woman feels that a man is vulnerable, she will be more likely to fall in love with him.
That is not universal though.