7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love - PsychAlive
Whether we know it or not, most of us are afraid of really being in love. to linger heavily in the back of our minds. .. I'm scared to be with someone again. Because of my last relationship,we started dating on the phone and we never talked. 3 Things To Do When You're Scared to Date Again “I am attracting the love that I desire into my life,” “I am attracting the perfect partner,” or “I. For the past five years, I have been completely single: no dating, no sex. My ex- boyfriend moved away without even saying goodbye or offering.
Many relationship-seekers today feel like the walking wounded. Though they've had more options than ever to meet potential partners, most of those relationships didn't work out.
Though still willing to try again, these still-undefeated warriors have become understandably wary. Many feel the weight of pre-defeat with its accompanying self-protection, yet have worked hard to keep their cynicism at bay. There can only be so many lost dreams before people lose their positive attitudes, even though they realize that pessimism is neither intriguing nor sexy.
Every relationship seeker I have met has a unique set of reasons for why they are still single. That individual add-up sets the scene for how much dating energy is left to risk. No one can tell another person when to try again, when to retreat, what to change, or how to approach next opportunity. There are just too many variables to create a stereotype.
What if, for instance, you are a reasonably attractive dating package who's just been ghosted by someone you thought was in it for the long haul? You'd certainly feel a plethora of emotions. If that were you, you could feel a range of emotions from confusion, conflict, devastation, grief, insecurity, hurt, or anger. You might even feel like stalking that abandoning partner to try to find enough information to keep yourself from going crazy in an unbelievable situation.
Or, perhaps you'd rush too quickly into another relationship just to find temporary solace. You might even be so off balance that you resort to self-destructive escape behaviors. Or, what if you truly believed that you were the chosen one, only to find out that a prior flame has re-emerged and that you're now back in a competitive race that doesn't look good?
You put a lot of energy and thought into selecting that special person and you're weary of looking and ready to settle down. Now you feel almost powerless to stop what is going on and horrified that you may have to start all over. You are understandably reluctant to take another chance like this, yet have grown use to the joy of a committed relationship.
I have been single for so long that I am too scared to date again
Do you go back to being single and forever forego another commitment, or do you plunge back into that romantic abyss?
Maybe you're so disillusioned that you can't even think about taking another chance while your heart is still occupied with the one you lost. Were you one of those relationship partners who weren't ready to commit just yet, but your partner was? You didn't want to prematurely promise something you might not be able to deliver, but didn't want to lose the chance it could eventually work out.
As your partner persevered, did you abandon him or her, fearful of premature entrapment and now regret the loss of a relationship that might have eventually mattered?
Many people repeatedly pick the same kind of partners even though none of those relationships have worked out in the past. Or they haven't really looked at what they are offering, and whether what they want is even available.
Perhaps they continue to create fantasy scenarios that aren't likely to succeed. Then, daunted by too many disappointing losses, they might settle too quickly for someone who can't meet their standards over time. Loneliness can mask logical and effective reasoning for anyone. Balancing all the data is not easy.
3 Things To Do When You're Scared to Date Again
As adults, we may fail to see them as an enemy, instead accepting their destructive point of view as our own. When another person sees us differently from our voices, loving and appreciating us, we may actually start to feel uncomfortable and defensive, as it challenges these long-held points of identification.
With real joy comes real pain. Any time we fully experience true joy or feel the preciousness of life on an emotional level, we can expect to feel a great amount of sadness. The opposite is also true. We cannot selectively numb ourselves to sadness without numbing ourselves to joy. Love is often unequal.
3 Things To Do When You're Scared to Date Again | HuffPost
The truth is that love is often imbalanced, with one person feeling more or less from moment to moment. Our feelings toward someone are an ever-changing force. In a matter of seconds, we can feel anger, irritation or even hate for a person we love. Worrying over how we will feel keeps us from seeing where our feelings would naturally go.
Allowing worry or guilt over how we may or may not feel keeps us from getting to know someone who is expressing interest in us and may prevent us from forming a relationship that could really make us happy. Relationships can break your connection to your family. Relationships can be the ultimate symbol of growing up. They represent starting our own lives as independent, autonomous individuals. This development can also represent a parting from our family.
Love stirs up existential fears. The more we have, the more we have to lose. The more someone means to us, the more afraid we are of losing that person. When we fall in love, we not only face the fear of losing our partner, but we become more aware of our mortality. Our life now holds more value and meaning, so the thought of losing it becomes more frightening.