So an Aspie Has A Crush on You: A Guide on Guys with Asperger’s (Written by One) - ACSEXE+
If you are with a man who has Asperger's syndrome, no doubt you've asked yourself this question often. What drew you to him? Why do you put. Could marrying someone with Asperger's syndrome be one way to ensure a long and happy partnership? Some couples seem to think so. I have Aspergers. I don't date. I go straight from meeting women to having sex with them, on a purely sporting basis, to our mutual pleasure. It was, for a time, one.
HOW TO SPOT ASPERGER’S SYNDROME @ Heartless Aspergers
Their conversations have to be generally one-sided. There has to be reduced sharing of interests and a lack of emotional give-and-take. Superficial social contact, niceties, passing time with others are of little interest. Little or too much detail is included in conversation, and there is difficulty in recognizing when the listener is interested or bored. Poor nonverbal communication, which translates into poor eye contact, unusual body language, inappropriate gestures and facial expressions.
Difficulty developing, maintaining and understanding relationships. Narrow, repetitive behaviors and interests. Signs of these characteristics as early as months of age, although the difficulties with social communication and relationships typically become apparent later in childhood.
Clear evidence that these characteristics are not caused by low intelligence or broad, across-the-board delays in overall development. What happens if someone has some of these difficulties but not all?
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It can eliminate the worry that a person is severely mentally ill. It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. A new, and more accurate, understanding of the person can lead to appreciation and respect for what the person is coping with. Acceptance by friends and family members is more likely. Employers are more likely to understand the ability and needs of an employee should that employee make the diagnosis known.
Accommodations can be requested and a rationale can be provided based on a known diagnosis. Having the diagnosis is a relief for many people. It provides a means of understanding why someone feels and thinks differently than others.
There can be a new sense of personal validation and optimism, of not being defective, weird or crazy.
Acceptance of the diagnosis can be an important stage in the development of successful adult intimate relationships. It also enables therapists, counselors and other professionals to provide the correct treatment options should the person seek assistance. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker. Yes, but the list is shorter than the list of advantages. No longer will they be able to hope to have a satisfying, intimate relationship.
Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from others with no expectation of improvement.
While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture.
It very well might be that some other condition is the real problem or, more likely, two or more conditions are overlapping. Brain imaging and studies of the brain structure show similarities between the two disorders. Having said that, there are important differences between the two. People with ADHD often try to do multiple activities at the same time.
They get distracted easily and jump from one interest or activity to another. Focusing on one thing for a long time is hard for them.
They are hyper-focused rather than unfocused.
So an Aspie Has A Crush on You: A Guide on Guys with Asperger’s (Written by One)
There is a similar difference with respect to impulsivity. People with ADHD will do things without considering the outcome of their actions. They act immediately and have trouble waiting. They interrupt, blurt out comments and seem unable to restrain themselves. They do not tend to have specific weaknesses in their understanding and use of language.
They also speak with a normal tone of voice and inflection. They may talk a lot and have more one-sided conversations as do adults with ADHD but they do so because lacking an understanding of how the person they are talking to is grasping what they are saying they are, in effect, talking to themselves. They confuse behaviors that may be appropriate in one setting from those that are appropriate in another, so that they often act in appropriate for the situation they are in.
They find it hard to interpret the meanings of facial expressions and body posture, and they have particular difficulty understanding how people express their emotions. When they do communicate their feelings they are often out of synch with the situation that generated the feeling.
Adults with ADHD tend to process sensory input in a typical manner. They may have preferences for how they handle sensory input like music, touch, sounds, and visual sensations but generally the way they handle these situations is much like other adults. They may be overly sensitive to one kind of sensation and avoid that persistently. Or they may prefer a certain type of sensation and, a certain type of music, for example, and seek it over and over.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders The core features of obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD are frequent and persistent thoughts, impulses or images that are experienced as unwelcomed and uninvited. Along with these thoughts are repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in order to reduce stress or to prevent something bad from happening. Some people spend hours washing themselves or cleaning their surroundings in order to reduce their fear that germs, dirt or chemicals will infect them.
Others repeat behaviors or say names or phrases over and over hoping to guard against some unknown harm. In the third column, try to think of a different explanation for their behavior.
Say you were upset recently about how your spouse handled you being sick. She left food without asking how I felt. Be specific about your needs. Many of us expect our partners to automatically know what we want. Or to know what we want after the many hints we drop. Rather than expecting your partner to naturally know what you want or hinting at it, communicate your needs as specifically and directly as possible. Can you please do the yard work?
To your partner, this might mean weeding. Because you and your partner experience emotions differently, having an emotional connection also can be challenging. Remember that people with AS have a difficult time understanding and identifying emotions, and they may show very little emotion or express inappropriate emotions.
You also might miss displays of deep connection from your partner because you express emotions so differently. Ariel includes the below exercise to help you and your partner articulate how you can improve your emotional connection. Using index cards or slips of paper, write down what you do to help you feel more connected to your partner. Put the cards in boxes: Try to do a few of these behaviors each week, and regularly review your lists. Even though being in a relationship with someone with AS may add additional challenges, together, you can absolutely learn to better understand each other and improve your relationship.
You can learn more about Cindy Ariel at her website.