15 Guys to Avoid Dating at All Costs | HuffPost
While many men may seem ideal after just a few weeks of dating, upon So, instead of jumping into that long-term relationship with a man you. I've been seeing my boyfriend for 2 years. I always have paid half of all meals out, I expected to, he expected me to, but I am getting fed up of nev. This new guy seems like a great man, except he was really cheap. He had the funds to help but he told me that I should use my credit cards and pay his friend $ to get it repaired. Problem was, he was always stingy, tight, and obsessed with money.
He bought me one bunch of flowers for Valentine's Day, that's it. I'm feeling really hard done by as I am a very kind and generous person - for someone who doesn't have a lot. I often take food that I've bought to his house to cook meals for us. We also take turns driving places. I'm not sure how to speak to him about this money issue without offending him or without sounding like a 'gold-digger' because I most certainly am not. I can pay my way and always do, but I'm getting tired of not being treated or given a little present here and there.
Even if it was a tiny gift, it's the thought that counts. I feel like I'm turning into a mean, stingy person like him now as I recently asked him for his share of a ticket and I felt he was a little annoyed I asked. I'm starting to become very resentful as this relationship is making me doubt myself and I feel bad about not having as much money as he does.
Dear Mary: I can't bear my well-off boyfriend being so mean with his money - afrocolombianidad.info
Recently we went on holiday and I paid for all of my own meals, drinks and even ice cream. I'm considering ending this relationship as I can't be with someone this uncaring and selfish, but at the same time, I feel very connected to him and I do love him for his good qualities.
But I worry about the future - if we ever considered marriage or children, would I be under financial pressure, even though he clearly has more and earns more? I don't feel like we are a team or a partnership - we are like single people who just have the company of each other to do things. I have had previous relationships where my partner paid for the majority of dates and I always contributed, but not this much.
Am I wrong to be feeling this way? You are not wrong to be having these concerns because meanness with money is very difficult to deal with on a long-term basis. You have experience in a previous relationship of how different things can be and this is what you will have to reflect on.
Dear Mary: I can't bear my well-off boyfriend being so mean with his money
There may be very good reasons why your boyfriend is so careful of his finances. He may have grown up in a household where money was tight, or his parents may have lost all their money - there are lots of possibilities as to why. He may have not yet shared his family history with you but if and when he does, it may give you some clues as to his behaviour. Alternatively, he may just see you as a friend with benefits and is not prepared to spend money on someone he is not sure will feature in his long-term plans.
This is not a very appealing thought, but it has to be borne in mind.
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However, there is also the possibility that he is just mean and stingy as you suspect, and that is why alarm bells are ringing for you. Assuming that he will eventually change and open up to your hobbies is misguided.
This will likely never happen. You are his partner, not his maid. Men who expect you to clean up their dishes, pick up their clothes and take care of them as if they are little children on a consistent basis need a really check, and will likely treat you as if you are their mother for the rest of their lives.
Be wary of men who constantly look for deals and comment on prices early on in the dating process. While everyone likes a good deal, real men will not make this known when courting a woman. These are signs that he will likely be very cheap throughout the duration of the relationship.
There's nothing wrong with sitting on the couch and watching sports. But this should never trump the responsibilities of a relationship or take precedence over family obligations. There is a difference between loving sports and having a childish obsession with them. Choose a man who knows the difference. Expecting a home cooked meal every single night makes for a relationship that will likely feel unbalanced in the long run.
Again, you are not his maid. There should be contributions from both parties, even if that contribution isn't always evenly divided. It's the effort that counts. Many men break out all the stops early on in the dating process, but by the fifth of sixth date, the laziness starts to creep in.
While no man should always be expected to plan five-star dates, at the same time, the romance shouldn't just completely fall off a cliff at once.
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These changes in effort can be very foretelling of how he will be a year or two down the road. Always play close attention to how a guy's behavior changes once he has had sex with you for the first time. If he truly cares about you, his good behaviors will grow stronger.
Those who back down and start getting lazier after having sex for the first time were probably only after one thing to begin with. Anyone, regardless of gender, who asks for help paying bills early on in a relationship should raise red flags.
Don't let yourself be used. By paying for him early on, you are setting the tone that it will be this way for your entire future. Be very wary of men who talk up a big game of what they plan on doing with their lives. Some men with no ambition whatsoever like to talk up a good game, but at the end of the day, they are just saying what they know women want to hear.
There is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to grow into a better person, just make sure that he's genuine. In my book, living at home up until age 25 is acceptable, provided the guy was going through schooling or saving up money.