Toxic Relationships: A Love Story of Dating a Man in Jail
From my experience it has nothing to do with what the other person commented on having fear of getting involved with a free person and having a sense of. A woman shares her love story about dating a man in jail. She soon realizes she is in a toxic relationship with a manipulative man. A stable person with good judgment would not normally choose to date someone in prison or who just got out of prison. It's definitely a red flag if your mentee.
Good luck and be careful! Why go this route?
This is an important step: Are you having no luck in society? Do you want a situation that more easily justifies your desire to go slowly? Are you working on your self-esteem and, for now, need the safety, additional confidence and security that dating a prisoner might offer?
Whatever your reasons — good or bad, sensible or borderline irrational — knowing and naming them is a huge point to consider for a successful relationship.
Know what you bring to the table, what you are lacking and what you expect of the other. This is about knowing yourself and your motives honestly. Do you know others in this situation? Get to know people in a like situation for support.
They can empathize with difficulties as they arise and can be leaned on for advice, especially regarding the lopsided, seemingly one-way aspects that come up. Can you cope with limited contact and other difficulties? How might you manage if there is a change in their release date?
The more you know up front, the better prepared you will be. Ask them what they actually did.
12 Tips To Dating A Prisoner | Prison Writers
It tells you, in part, what to be mindful of. Know what they are doing to change, to better themselves. Ask not only about their conviction but about the circumstances that led up to their choice. Do they have an out date? Some may find having a partner in such a limited capacity a plus. Others may want someone weeks from returning to society.
I personally would suggest meeting someone with a little bit of time left. Give yourself a minimum of three or more months to get to know this person. There is a reason for discounted prices. Extra time gives you the best opportunity to get to know them and solidify whatever foundation you can. That may enable you to withstand the weight that goes with their return to society. How do you envision the relationship? Give it a try and see how it goes? Fix the wrongs in your life?
Whatever your expectations, be realistic with them. Be mindful that a lot who are getting out have little to no money, and if they do, their immediate goal will most likely be to get situated and stabilize their self. It is so important to have that talk as soon as possible and to continually update that.
What do you expect, anticipate? The response from friends was funny when I showed them this. It depends on the situations. Mainly it is on you to know — how are they living? Remember, you may start your search for a loved one in here, but ideally you want them to come home and stay home.
If going to seg is never their fault, be careful. An inability to be accountable or responsible, combined with poor decision-making, should be further clues. In here, there is time, more time and then extra time to do most of what you want to do. If their time is spent watching all the TV series and talk shows, if they play cards all day, then what aspirations do they have? She hasn't met him yet, but seems very excited about what their future holds because she describes this guy as being her "dream guy.
Is it an ideal situation? Probably not, but people do change, so maybe he really is the man of her dreams. This woman apparently works in a prison, and she has fallen in love with an inmate, I don't even want to know how something like this starts out, but I suppose if you're constantly interacting with someone and you have their file on hand, you may feel as though you know them. But the worst part of this is not even that this woman is married, but that she apparently even managed to hook up with the inmate -- this could pose a security risk because he could harm her and get access to her keys, or she could help him plan an escape.
And everyone who has ever been in love knows just how important it is to spend time together, but how do you do that when your man is behind bars? It doesn't take a genius to work out that dating an inmate comes with a whole new set of rules and complications, and the woman behind this confession is experiencing this first hand. That said, her situation is even worse because this is not a guy she met through a prisoner pen pal programme, but rather she met the man she's crushing on while working at the same prison where he is locked up.
So, it should go without saying that it's going to be hard for this girl to break it to her parents that she's in love with a guy who is probably the same age as them. And it's going to be even harder telling them that he is currently in prison. According to the girl behind this confession, she's been speaking to a man who will be in prison for the next five years, and she claims that she has fallen in love.
What's worse is that she has taken to Whisper to ask for advice about whether others think her parents will approve. I'm sorry to break it to you honey, but they definitely won't. Which is why it may shock you to know that someone has been crushing on a man who did something violent in his past, and is still serving time to pay for his actions.