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Why won't he make a commitment to me?
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Carla Staton, Crewe The problem is you, not him Your problem reeks of self-doubt and lack of confidence, and perhaps it is this that needs addressing. Be brave and ask yourself this: If he is putting his job before you and doesn't want to get married, what is the future for you both?
I am puzzled by this "two-year" embargo. Are you really happy to let somebody have such control over your life? It sounds as if you need to learn what is right for you. Nicola Handyside, London It is time to leave What is the point of being in a relationship with someone who refuses to discuss your future together?
It seems that he does not want to marry you, or even become engaged: I was engaged for three years to someone who wanted to get a ring on my finger, but did not want to set a date. I left him three years ago and have not looked back since. Women tend to stay in relationships far longer than they need to, because they have invested time, love and energy.
But if you are not getting worthwhile returns, it is time to leave. You are still young and will find someone else. Georgina Copeland, via email Listen to your friends You are very lucky to have such a caring and supportive group of friends; you obviously respect their opinions and are right to do so.
Importantly, you describe your feelings of dissatisfaction first, and use the voice of "the chorus" as further evidence. You say you want a serious commitment; six years is a long time to be in a relationship that is not demonstrating signs of one. He is showing a basic lack of respect by refusing to discuss the matter with you; it is juvenile and selfish.
Staying in a relationship like this will continue to erode your self-confidence and sense of worth. A break-up will be painful, but it sounds inevitable, and you have a good support group to help you through it. The empowerment you will feel when you have taken charge of your life will provide a solid platform from which to build more meaningful relationships.
Eleanor Kent, via email Why is marriage so important?
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Your partner clearly has no intention of marrying you - but that doesn't mean he won't spend his life committed to you. Why is a ring and the title "Mrs" so important, when you are already in a long-term, committed relationship? Does your faith require your union to be blessed by your god? Do you feel "abnormal" as your friends have conformed to the social norm of "I do" and you haven't?
If you want to stay with this man, you need to find what is at the root of your need for the marriage ceremony, then see if it can be addressed without a wedding ring. I am not married to my partner of 20 years. I have chosen not to marry as I rejoice in the fact that we are together because we choose to be, not because we signed a piece of paper. It is my choice, and it may be your partner's choice too - perhaps he is too scared to tell you as it conflicts so deeply with your ideals.
After being nagged by you, and harangued by your friends to enter into an arrangement he does not want, your partner is still with you. He just does not love the institution of marriage.
Jane Radcliffe, Winchester What the expert thinks: Rachel Klaver's ears prick up at the "R" word. The year-old Aucklander, who went on so many internet dates she wrote a book about it, 88 Dates: The Perilous Joys of Internet Dating, says although she was never physically threatened, she did find herself in some risky situations. I think those kinds of sites are riskier than internet dating because so many people use them for sexual hook-ups and there's all this pressure associated with being forced to do something you might not want to do.
Supplied Aucklander Rachel Klaver wrote a book about online dating and once ran her own dating advice website: It's true, she says, that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find Prince Charming.