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I struggled to couch my objections in simple language. Sometimes I dance with boys or kiss boys. But only if I want to. It was only later that I remembered the oft-cited Department of Justice statistic that one in four American women experiences rape or attempted rape during college. Although I found it stifling to imagine being deprived of erotic intimacy outside of marriage—not to mention a fun night out once in a while—the comparatively extreme sexual freedom of the U.
I was distracted by these thoughts on my walk home from dinner with Sarasi, hardly noticing the fruit bats swooping in and out of lush rain trees.
Our conversation had unmoored my beliefs about sexuality. While I was reading in his garden one afternoon, a group of red-faced men in sarongs gathered nearby and belted out raucous renditions of folk songs.
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Men here, they see a white girl, they think bad things. Then he explained—self-evidently enough—that men see movies in which white girls show off their bodies and seem to revel in promiscuity.
I had indeed noticed two or three middle-aged women traveling with and paying the way for younger Sri Lankan men. And Sampath said he also had a couple of friends who were devoted—and successful—seducers of younger tourists.
I chose to forget for the moment that I, too, exploited the increased freedom my white skin afforded me. When I got off the bus a few hours later, I was thrilled to find a beach touristy enough for me to sunbathe in a bikini without being harassed by local men. While I dove and splashed in clear, green waves, women in saris stood on the sweltering shore, dipping their toes in the froth.
The problem with this dichotomous thinking became clear when I decided to treat myself to a massage.
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