What to Ask Before Dating a Recovering Addict - The Recovery Village
But a past history of drug and alcohol addiction isn't necessarily one of But how do you know if that's the person you are considering dating. Read about dating in early recovery from The Rose, a clinically sophisticated The first few months of recovery from addiction are some of the most difficult. because most of us are just beginning to get to know ourselves and to define our . Recovering addicts don't expect perfection in their partners, having learned of weakness or a character flaw, dating a recovering addict probably isn't for you.
One day, Shelley meets Steve through an online dating website. At first, Shelley is crazy about Steve, but she subsequently discovers Steve is a recovered addict.
She assumes Steve must be a wild one, and she tells her close friends of this fact.
8 Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery
But Shelley continues dating Steve. Shelley has been dating Steve for a month now. At the wedding, Shelley drinks a massive amount of alcohol. However, that one drink turns into a three-day bender. By the end of this bender, Steve stops drinking.
However, Steve is now addicted to alcohol. When he stops drinking alcohol, he suffers from withdrawal symptoms. Steve reluctantly checks himself into a local detox unit.
This costs Steve several thousand dollars. Following this nightmare, Steve decides to call the relationship quits. The above is a nightmare scenario anyone in recovery will wish to avoid. If Shelley had followed the advice below, surely Steve would have avoided this harsh relapse and their relationship could have blossomed. Without further ado, I offer up these seven tips for dating somebody in recovery and avoiding this cruel situation now faced by Shelley and Steve.
Thoughts on Living With and Loving a Recovering Addict
Get over the shock that your date is living in recovery. Unfortunately, society often judges recovered addicts harshly. But why is this so? Well, the answer is simple: Society tells us that addiction is bad. And unfortunately, people often equate recovery with addiction, even though the two are polar opposites! However, if your new date reveals he or she is a former addict, then it's important you don't make too much of an issue out of that fact. And it's essential that you do not dismiss their prior addiction as some kind of character flaw.
Simply put, being a past addict should not equal doom for future relationships.
Taking the Plunge: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Choosing Romance With Someone in Recovery
It's likely he or she used to live a very different lifestyle to his or her current one. In fact, we recommend you positively embrace your date's recovery. And let's not forget that recovered addicts are often extremely healthy individuals.
Many recovered addicts have spent countless hours educating themselves about nutrition, healthy eating, relationships, self-awareness and exercise. And this usually translates into a healthy and more active lifestyle the rest of us could only dream about! Determine how long your new date has been in recovery. As a general rule, the longer your date has been in recovery the better. If your date has been in recovery for less than 12 months, know there is a greater risk of his or her relapse.
Relapse is when a recovered addict returns to old addictive ways. And it really does go without saying that a relapse could result in an early termination of your hard-earned relationship.
In fact, some experts even advise that you should not start a relationship with somebody who has been in recovery for less than 12 months.
Although I would not go this far, I would urge you to at least be aware that being in recovery for less than a year carries a substantially higher risk of relapse when compared to dating somebody with more than a year's worth of recovery experience. Determine how active your date is at maintaining his or her recovery. Recovered addicts are encouraged to actively work on their recovery.
For this reason, there are many support groups located in most towns and cities catering for this need.
- What You Need to Know About Dating a Recovering Addict
- Thoughts on Living With and Loving a Recovering Addict
Being in recovery is more of a verb than a noun. Put Recovery First People in recovery typically have a lot of meetings and appointments to attend. Time spent with addiction counselors and support groups is an investment in a better future for both of you. Putting recovery first may also mean that you need to think about planning dates carefully. Instead of going to a club or bar, you may need to see a movie, go on a picnic, or entertain like-minded friends at home.
For example, visiting a place that one used to go while intoxicated is a common trigger.
Talk to your partner about his or her cravings and what triggers the urge to use. No matter how complicated your relationship gets, you need to make time for well-balanced meals, exercise, sleep, and stress-relieving activities.
Self-care is not selfish. Taking care of your own needs gives you the strength to fully participate in the relationship. Every couple has disagreements and obstacles to navigate. For more information about our treatment programs at Waypoint Recovery Center, please contact us anytime at