Internet Stalking: It’s Totally (Mostly) Okay
I first met my stalker, Karen, a not unattractive woman in her 40s, at my local pub She had recognised me as being a member of the same dating website as her. . I was sitting at home playing online Scrabble — you can play it with Newlywed endorses sexually explicit meme about moving on from ex. Woman, 31, 'stalked a man after one date and sent him 65, texts saying . Woman accused of stalking Paradise Valley man she met online;. Whether or not internet stalking could be your full-time job, pretty I mean, you have to thoroughly vet your date for research purposes, right?.
As luck would have it, they've also swiped right! You've exchanged some brief messages.
You make plans to meet. But you want to know more.
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Also, their pictures all seem taken from one angle, and you want to know more about what they look like. You'd try to search for them on Facebook, but you know that its search is garbage and with only their first name, the city they live in, and maybe some bland information about their job, you'll probably have no luck. With those scraps of information, it can be very easy to find someone on LinkedIn. And with that, comes a full name.
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Diligent searchers can then gain access to Facebook and so much else. It's a grey, sticky area of life on dating apps. One the one hand, it can be a relatively harmless bit of investigation to make sure who you're meeting is the person they say they are. After all, they're most likely Googling you as well.
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On the other hand, it's a slippery slope that says nothing about respecting another person's space and can quickly turn uber creepy. Like Uber, but for creepy.3 Online Dating Horror Stories / Plenty of Fish - POF Stalkers, Catfish & Creepers - TRUE STORIES
I thought long and hard and eventually opted for the second approach, on condition that the police make it clear to Karen that the matter stopped there. For a while, Karen kept her side of the bargain. I began to reclaim composure as weeks passed without contact. I began to think that my life was getting back on track. For some reason it seemed to reactivate the trauma. The nightmares returned and I started to feel vulnerable again.
Worse were the uncontrollable, out-of-character rages that came upon me without warning — often directed at my parents, my best friends and my girlfriend, who was growing increasingly exasperated.
One incident I remember happened when I was walking down the street and a cyclist nearly crashed into me. Yes, it was an unnerving experience — dangerous, even — but it was an accident. By New Year, my girlfriend and I were rowing regularly, always at my instigation.
In February I decided I had to go it alone. I was close to suicidal.
When I explained everything to my therapist, she said I was suffering post-traumatic stress disorder. She advised me that what I needed to recover from my ordeal were time and distance. The former would take care of itself, the latter would mean moving house. Until that point I had always resisted because it felt like losing. But I ended my rental contract and found another place in a different part of town.
Yet I remained in limbo because on December 30 last year — 14 months after Karen received her caution — she reappeared. I was sitting at home playing online Scrabble — you can play it with strangers on Facebook — when a message from a player flashed up on the screen: She said she knew where I lived and worked, then threatened me with mention of a boyfriend: I really thought this would be enough to put her in prison at last. But when I went to the police, I was told that Facebook is a law unto itself.
There was nothing they could do. The officer advised me to close my profile and stop playing the game. For me, it was a bridge too far. I had to draw the line somewhere. A month on, I still receive sporadic online messages which I have to ignore. The police have said that if she really did know where I lived, she would have paid a visit — and that undoubtedly she will trip herself up one day.
This is reassuring and frustrating in equal measure. The only possible conclusion, if she continues, is her winding up in jail.