The most common lies women tell when online dating - Beyond Ages
The survey of 1, single adults, commissioned by online dating Lying about their weight was top of the list for women, whilst creating a better But in a sign that with age comes acceptance, on both sides of the Atlantic. So why are men lying about their age on dating apps (I ask, in an effort to appear open minded while a voice in my head 'I haven't had any luck with online dating at all really,' he says. Honesty is always the best policy.'. I've considered lying about my age before but always rejected it because .. Here's the way I found worked best to think about online dating: all.
Fifty-three percent of American people surveyed said they lied in their online dating profiles. How in the world are you supposed to discover your TRUE match when what is being put out there isn't true? It's as if some online daters are not hoping to have a romantic evening but rather are preparing to do battle by jousting with their noses.
Women lie more than men by nearly 10 percentage points! With most lying about their looks. Do they really think that when they finally encounter their date in person, that it won't be immediately obvious that they are two cup sizes smaller, two inches shorter and 20 pounds heavier than they claimed online? Perhaps they assume their personalities will magically make up for the fact they do not look anything like the picture that was posted online.
Probably because over 20 percent of women post old pictures of themselves when they were younger and often thinner. That's if it is even their picture at all. Men are not much better. Although fewer men lie than women, their top lie is about having a job that is better than the one they've actually got.
A man could easily swindle a woman into a date, or even a relationship, before the woman discovers he's not a prince but a pauper. More than 40 percent of men try this tactic, confessing they wanted to make their job sound more prestigious.
Women online are actually MORE likely to given an honest answer when asked about their weight. With so many women skirting the truth regarding their weight you need to make sure you get a recent photo before getting too committed. A full one-fifth of women are using old photos that no longer accurately represent what you are getting yourself into. Much like the issue with fibbing about weight, this can be attributed to intense pressure to fit a certain body type as well as a mental image that has not kept up with the physical realities.
When you first begin talking to a woman always ask if the photos she has are current. You can be playfully accusatory by saying something like: If she gets very defensive or evasive you should be suspicious.
Age is just a number after all right? From a range of options including slim, skinny, average, athletic, curvy, full figured, slightly overweight, and many other options it is difficult to have any kind of standard for what each term means. I do not have experience with on-line dating.
Having said that, the first thing that came to my mind is that the age is the red herring for why you are not getting hits. I obviously have not seen your profile, but my guess is that people read 34 in couple with the rest of your profile and think "wants to get married and have kids.
If you don't want kids, add that to your profile. If you think it will help to make it 32, do it and pass it off on the 3rd or 4th date as a typo. Come clean early, but after he likes you for you not your age. If you are asked something like what year you graduated from college tell the truth and if the math is noticed, then disclose the mistake.
No one will find you to message you, but they aren't doing that anyway. Have recent pics up, and there's nothing deceptive about it. The guy will then have to decide based on you, not on your age. I think this is the best compromise. Most of the guys I know believe to some extent in the "half your age plus 7" limit. If the older men who message you tend to be in their mid-fifties, this may be part of the reason why. A thousand times yes. Well, actually, a thousand and two.
Otherwise, never and no. Terrible idea to try to pass yourself off as younger. Most people can make a pretty good guess about other peoples' ages. That said, I don't think shaving two years off is a crime. I also don't know if it will make a difference.
4 Most Common Online Dating Lies
I do think you'd be better off meeting guys in real life, rather than online. Those little things that can make enough of a difference to stop you from meeting a person you like don't usually stop you from liking a person you meet, if you see what I mean.
If you think, "No, I don't want to do that in case in those two months I might meet a really great person and this could completely ruin it," then you have your answer: Tell them the truth and why you did it after you've messaged back and forth with them a bit or talked to them on the phone, and then ask them if they're still interested.
This will effectively screen out not only the people too immature to date someone close to their own age, but also all the uptight people that few people would want to have a long term relationship with anyway. OKCupid seems to skew really young - I never had any luck on there when I was dating in my mids. Match is good, though I just got engaged, at the age of 40, to a man I met there so there is hope!
How about adding eHarmony to the mix too, as they will match you to men in your age range looking for a relationship with women in your age range? It's not just for Christians anymore. I have a lot of single women friends in similar big cities who've been looking for a relationship for years without finding anyone decent. I know others who have moved to a more relationship-friendly place and found someone nice right away I was in this latter group.
I know it's radical, but is moving an option? Of course if you really don't mind being dishonest, you could say you're 32 and later tell them you've been on and off the site for a few years and haven't updated your age since you joined. Personally I wouldn't bother because a guy whose freaked out over the difference between 32 and 34 would be too young and immature or me, so his emotional age would be the deal breaker - not mine.
If a guy had lied about his age 2 years would that be OK? If he was 10lbs heavier would that be OK? If his picture is 5 years old is that OK? If you expect accurate profiles from your prospective partners then it's only fair that you have an accurate one yourself. If you're OK with all this The statistics cited in this interesting article bear that out.
Single women tend to outnumber single men in major urban areas worldwide. Single men in NY can afford to have young upper age limit. Conversely, the west coast has a lot more single men.
So single women in NY are going to have a harder time finding dates, may need to be less choosy about who they date, and some women that choose to remain in NY will never find a partner.
To the OP, and other women in NY and similar areas struggling to find dates, it may pay off to relocate to a region with a surplus of single men. I also tended to find the "lie for search reasons" off-putting. I think it gives off an unintentional and possibly inaccurate vibe of self-esteem issues. I say honesty is the best policy. I would hate to experience someone who may be less than sensitive to you when they find out about the age adjustment.
I agree with some of the other comments, try to update your profile first in other ways, experiment with your profile pictures and open yourself up to Match if you want to pay for the service. Otherwise, get out there and know that someone will come along eventually.
I am sure you are a smart, confident woman and your profile should reflect that with all of the information being accurate. But be honest with the picture. Men are pathetically shallow, even the ones who don't admit it. If its that big of a deal for him, then he's probably not worth the effort. I don't think that's a constructive argument.
It's a harsh and sexist generalization, and side-steps the actual problem of whether lying about yourself is an issue. Being concerned about honesty, even for small things, isn't shallow, and deflecting it as "men are shallow anyway, so I have to play their game" isn't a mature way of handling it, IMO.
Be honest with yourself and potential partners, and don't justify a lie with prejudice. I mean, unless you are actually want men who are only interested in women who are younger than you. Admit that you're lying but insist you're a special snowflake so it's ok! Please just believe me when I tell you this isn't going to be the start of some cute story you get to tell all your friends about how you met your husband.
It's going to be the start of how you waste the next 3 months of your life on first dates.
The Ugly Truth of Online Dating: Top 10 Lies Told by Internet Daters | HuffPost Life
This is real life, not a romantic comedy. It's hard enough as it is; the least we can do is agree to be decent to each other and not lie. I was the only guy who didn't lie about their height.
She was the only girl whose photo didn't do her justice. Anyway, she told me during our first and only date that she was actually 32, and it was a total turnoff, and not because that was too old, I'd actually been on a date with a girl who was 32 or 33 just a couple of weeks prior, but because she was already admitting to lying about something right from the start.
It was not a good way to start a potential relationship. The "quelle horreur" reaction you're getting here is because most Mefites are deontological. They're telling you not to lie about your age because humans have an ethical duty not to lie. Whereas I look at things as a consequentialist: In this case, I think it's pretty clear that rounding down your age a little is going to increase your personal chances of long-term happiness, not diminish them.
That's assuming you fess up to your potential partner about your real age after meeting them or in your early exchanges so there's no risk of actually beginning a relationship on false premises. Yes, perhaps admitting to your lie will mean you lose someone who would otherwise have been the love of your life; but I think the risk of that is worth running, in return for being exposed to a much broader pool of eligible men who are unfairly ruling out women of your age.
Based on conversations with women I met men seem to lie about their income, and both sexes seem to lie about their physical condition. Lets face it, if we were that much of a catch we'd already have plenty of options. My two most successful outcomes were based on telephone calls because neither had provided a profile picture when they first got in touch.
My least successful was the person who started quizzing me about my personal wealth within minutes, practically requesting banker's references, I played it for laughs and she hung up on me. If you lie about your age then you have no cause to feel deceived when your year-old gym-going stockbroker turns out to be a pot-bellied clerk of Learn to phone screen, provide an interesting profile which makes you seem like a good 'catch', meet for coffee and establish as early as possible if this is a person who's company you could bear for an evening while on a date.
Those are people who you would have wanted to drive away anyway.
By giving your real age, you're not adding anyone to your potential pool of people you'd be willing to date; you're just saving yourself the cost of a drink and an afternoon discovering that this person is not what you want in an SO. Once I flipped that mental switch, I was much happier with my low return rate on dating sites.
We are not being hand-wringing moralists here- the point is, she will be putting off the very people she hopes to fool because it's a petty, insecure lie meant to ensnare people. It would just feel weird to do so. I also don't think 32 is really going to seem all that different. As an aside - the advice about moving out of the NYC area is a little tiresome and I wish people didn't do it.
I'm imagining like me your life might be here - work, friends, friends having families, your family, etc and moving to pick up your dating choices is a big haul. If New York is where you want to live and date then stay here and do it, BUT don't drag yourself down by thinking all men in New York are youth obsessed or things like that. While I don't want to start an argument, I would like to address this, since I am a consequentialist myself.
Dontjumplarry is operating under the assumption that two years is a small enough gap that most people won't be able to tell the difference, especially if you look younger than you are. Here's an important question to consider though. Do you look younger than you are?
Statistically speaking, half the population will look a bit younger, and half the population will look a bit older. Unless you are ridiculously fit, it's a bad idea to assume you're one of the fortunate people blessed with more youthful looks. In fact, based on your return rates, I think the odds favor the idea that you may look one or two years older than you are.